In my quest for blog perfection. My quest is to blog once a week. I feel like I’m falling behind if by hump day I’m not humping. (In the military I think that means working……….so…you dirty minded people give it up! )
I am still editing away at a few sessions so I wanted to take some time to reflect. A blog is a way for the reader to connect with the writer. In doing these blogs I certainly hope that you connect with me and I can reconnect with myself. I think of myself as a terrible writer, but I really hope to improve.
I look at people through the lens all the time. When is the last time I took a good hard look in the mirror at myself? Well, I did. I figured I would share my findings with you. Good and Bad.
Me. Webster’ s describes this as an ‘objective case of I’. These are things I want you to know about me that I find hard to talk about. I feel like I’m kind of guarded as a person but it’s healing to talk about things that define ourselves. Even those things we don’t like so much.
I am shy
Now, you’d probably think this is a negative thing for a photographer but I think it’s a blessing. I have seen things and observed things my entire life. I capture those things that other people never noticed and it’s a personality trait. I can be very talkative and sociable when I kind of get to know you, but my strengths really are documenting things that most people take for granted or never take time to see.
I’m by far the better friend
I’m the friend that always listens to my friends woah’s about life. I listen, trying to understand all sides of the stories to give aim and perspective. And I lend an ear. Always. Non judgemental, but open to all they may have to say. And then…………..I decide to throw in my discussion about MY life. Stupid self. No one wants to hear about other’s angst (except me). It’s a selfish world and people only want to talk about themselves. That’s not me. That’s not my style. When I’m your friend, I’m your friend. Thick and thin. It’s not all about me nor all about you. I have been so disappointed and run over by “friends” most of my life that I’m on a friendless mission right now. I do believe in the laws of attraction and I have put vibes out in the world for great, warm, loving friends. I did this for photographer friends and have met some of the warmest photographers anyone could ever ask to meet .I know it works. World, please send me friends that aren’t selfish. That aren’t full of themselves. That aren’t crazy! (Don’t ask, have had WAY too many crazy friends in my life). That will help me grow as a person. That will have chocolate cake with me at 3am if I want to. Will talk smack about our husbands with me and love them still afterwards. Will understand that my work, my love consumes alot of my time but still be my friend anyway and understand. Will help me wade through issues and give me another opinion or idea. That will believe in me when I can’t find it inside myself to believe in myself at the moment.
I’m a good person
If I have ever hurt you or done anything stupid that I don’t know about. I’m sorry. It wasn’t intentional. I am not a malicious person. I don’t steal. I don’t lie. I don’t do things back handedly thinking I will get ahead. I am such a firm believer in Karma that I know all influences in this life will surely haunt me some chapter eventually. If I have done something stupid, there are explanations for it. Don’t judge me hastily as there are always two sides to every story. In my obituary, I want to be remembered as a good person. An honest, down to earth midwestern girl with core values that really made her business excel because of her beliefs and not being a business tycoon. I’m against the corporate lores- I believe in helping small businesses thrive and flourish and I’m not about being a cut throat anything. I think we’ve forgotten that mentality to help a fellow person out when needed. We’ve all been down and out at times and that helping hand always goes a long way. I’ll be that hand for you and hopefully, if I need it you can be that for me.
I believe in LOVE
That’s another reason I’m NUTS! over wedding photography. I’m so stupidly blinded by people being in love. My husband and I met when I was 13 (put down the calculators) EVERYONE, and I do mean EVERYONE said it was a passing thing, I didn’t know what love was at 13 but I did. I knew he made my heart leap when I would hear him talk. The smell of him to this day (and there has been MANY days inbetween) is a smell I long for. It’s a familiar smell, it’s a smell that makes my heart happy. I knew love then, I know love now. I love my husband deeply. He is such a good man, and to beat all he loves me back. I feel like it’s such a gift to share love and to be loved, that truly I can’t even begin to describe how I feel being a part of the love a couple feels towards each other. I love doing engagement shoots to just sit back and watch a couple be in love. There is no trick to that photography. That is just chemistry, and I again with a little prodding on my end get to be the photodocumentalist that watches it all happen. I know this sounds a little sappy, but deep down I am girly, and sappy. I still cry every time I watch the ‘Notebook’, there are certain songs I catch myself reaching for a kleenex for. I think I’m just a girl that Values Love. Values Life. Values Relationships, and people and friends.
And I could go on and on about some things but I will continue this later, if I’m still editing by next week I will continue my exploration of life. Life-o-logy.
(Umm, that’s enough about you now!)